


Quote Unquote

by gemjam



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-20
Updated: 2012-05-20
Packaged: 2017-11-05 17:06:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/408887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemjam/pseuds/gemjam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adrian uses the media to get Lewis's attention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quote Unquote

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to zeraparker@livejournal for the beta.

Adrian knew that they’d use the quote, it was exactly why he’d said it; sensational enough to catch the eye but subtle enough to not be considered libel. He stared at it now, written under the sultry looking photograph of himself, and he couldn’t help but smile.

When he made the decision to attend the Spanish GP, he hadn’t been sure what to expect. He thought that he would feel a disconnect, like standing on the wrong side of a fast flowing river. He wanted to be in those cars, racing for position, fighting for points, not sitting behind the scenes as just another spectator. But when he turned up at the track he found that things hadn’t moved on quite as much as he’d feared. Vijay invited him into the Force India garage and he chatted easily with Paul and Nico, enjoying the discussion of the season so far, and it just made him more certain than ever that he needed to find himself a race seat as soon as possible.

During one of the practice sessions he found himself sitting with Anthony Hamilton, watching Paul’s progress. It was never difficult to strike up a conversation with Anthony; Adrian felt like he’d grown up with him in a lot of ways, a constant throughout all the race weekends.

“Lewis seems happy,” Adrian had stated idly, knowing how loaded the words were between them. Anthony turned to look at him.

“He’s keeping his head down,” was his eventual response.

“Down in the sand?” Adrian asked. “That’s Lewis all over, isn’t it?” Anthony continued to study him. Adrian stared at the timing screen. “I’m not being bitchy.”

“Aren’t you?” Anthony asked.

“It’s just an observation,” Adrian shrugged. Anthony looked away. Adrian knew that he should drop it. “He’s settled with Nicole, isn’t he?”

“As settled as Lewis ever is,” Anthony agreed. Adrian nodded. Anthony turned to look at him again. “All those times you stayed over, I never thought you were sleeping on the floor.”

Adrian smiled. He turned to meet Anthony’s gaze. “I’m not the kind of boy who sleeps on the floor.”

“Didn’t think you were,” Anthony agreed.

Adrian laughed, ducking his head. Lewis had always thought they were getting away with it, but Adrian had never believed that for a second. It was nice to have confirmation, all these years later, that he’d been right. He couldn’t help but think how much that would wind Lewis up.

“You seem happy too,” Anthony observed. “For a man who’s been held back from his dream.”

Adrian shrugged, suddenly a little shy. “We moved in together.”

“Congratulations,” Anthony told him, reaching out to shake his hand. “You’ll have to give me the address, I’ll send you a housewarming gift.”

A week later he was giving an interview to a German newspaper and he simply couldn’t help himself. He was certain that he still knew exactly how to get Lewis’s attention. After being studiously avoided in Spain he was more determined than ever to find something that would make Lewis’s silence end.

_I did a lot of stupid things when I was younger, not least of all Lewis Hamilton._

Adrian smiled smugly to himself as he closed the newspaper, certain it would be all over the internet by the next day. Sure enough, he got a text from Nico the following morning.

_From: Nico R_  
08:52  
Lewis is asking for your number. 

Adrian had never been so satisfied with the decision to change his own number shortly after Lewis had changed his. He wanted to be unreachable, not just to Lewis but to a whole sector of his life that no longer seemed to apply to him. He didn’t want old acquaintances trying to feed off his misery and tabloid status and so he got a new number and he only offered it to the people he really trusted to be on his side.

_From: Adrian_  
08:54  
I bet he fucking is. 

_From: Nico R_  
08:55  
Is that a no? ;) 

Adrian smiled. Nico might be close friends with Lewis too, but Adrian knew he could count on him to stay impartial. He wasn’t the kind of person to pick favourites.

_From: Adrian_  
08.57  
Did he sound mad? 

_From: Nico R_  
09:00  
Text me this morning. ‘Do you have Adrian’s number?’ Your guess is as good as mine. 

_From: Adrian_  
09:03  
Give it to him. 

_From: Nico R_  
09:05  
OK but I can’t make your funeral if it’s on a race weekend. 

It was lunchtime when Lewis finally called. Adrian wondered if he’d spent the morning psyching himself up.

“Interesting article,” he commented dryly.

“I didn’t know you spoke German,” Adrian responded. There was a pause.

“What are you trying to do?” Lewis asked. His voice sounded calm, interested even, but Adrian knew better than to trust it.

“Stay in the media,” Adrian told him. “Not disappear.”

“By dropping my name?” Lewis inquired.

“I didn’t drop anything,” Adrian stated. The words came out a little harsher than he intended. Why did the world always have to revolve around Lewis?

Lewis sighed. “There’s a lot of people on the Internet who have nothing better to do than make assumptions,” he pointed out. “You know that, right?”

“Is it that big a problem if people think we fucked?” Adrian asked bluntly.

Lewis offered him nothing but silence on the other end of the line. It _was_ a big problem, a very big problem, in Lewis’s world, Adrian knew that. Lewis apparently wasn’t going to rise to the bait though. Maybe he had grown up.

Instead of the hot-headed response Adrian was expecting, Lewis calmly asked, his voice downbeat, “I was a mistake?”

Adrian looked down at the article in front of him. “You weren’t a regret.” It was an answer and yet it wasn’t really an answer at all.

“My dad said you and Raphael moved in together,” Lewis stated.

“Yeah,” Adrian agreed.

“When?” Lewis asked.

“A couple of months ago,” Adrian replied. “It’s nice.”

“Is he there now?” Lewis asked.

“He’s at work,” Adrian told him. “People work, Lewis.”

“Right,” Lewis agreed.

There was an awkward silence. Adrian could tell that Lewis was jealous and it bothered him.

“How’s Nicole?” he asked pointedly.

“Fine,” Lewis said, the uncertainty in his voice giving away the fact that he’d been caught off guard. “Good,” he added with slightly more conviction.

“Send her my love,” Adrian stated, knowing how mocking the words sounded. It wasn’t Nicole’s fault. It wasn’t really Lewis’s fault either.

“Listen, it was good to see you at a Grand Prix, man,” Lewis stated.

“Was it?” Adrian asked. “You must have been so overwhelmed with joy that you forgot to say hello.”

“You don’t have to be so passive aggressive with me,” Lewis told him. “If you want to call me an arsehole just call me an arsehole. I deserve it.”

“You’re an arsehole,” Adrian stated, no conviction behind the words. It wasn’t really what he wanted to say to Lewis. He had no idea what it was he really wanted to say to Lewis.

“There, we got it out of the way, we can move on,” Lewis said, sounding a little exasperated.

“Right,” Adrian agreed, ignoring the way that the careless words hit him right in the gut. “Let’s move on.”

The silence hung heavy between them, even over hundreds of miles. Adrian didn’t realise that such an awkward atmosphere could be transferred down a telephone line.

“I won’t drag your name into any more newspaper articles,” Adrian promised, his voice sounding pathetically meek now. He wasn’t crawling, he reminded himself. It was petty of him to keep pushing to get a reaction out of Lewis. It was petty of Lewis to act petulant about the fact that Adrian had managed to find happiness with someone else. They both needed to let go.

“I’d appreciate that,” Lewis responded, his own voice stripped bare and exhausted. There was a pause. “So, I, uh, I have a meeting this afternoon.”

“You better go then,” Adrian stated, more than happy to offer him an exit.

“We won’t leave it so long next time though, yeah?” Lewis said, an edge of hope in his voice that made something in Adrian ache.

“Bye,” Adrian responded. “Arsehole,” he added light-heartedly, smiling at the small laugh Lewis gave before he cut off the connection.

A few days later he was in Monaco with Nico, trying to decide whether he was sticking around for the GP or not.

“When are you going to invite Raphael to a race?” Nico asked.

“When I’m back in a car,” Adrian responded.

Nico looked out of the window at the gentle rain that was falling. “It’s going to be a shit weekend if this weather doesn’t clear.”

Adrian chewed on his lip. “Lewis is happy with Nicole, isn’t he?”

Nico turned back to him. “Yeah,” he said uncertainly, but Adrian could tell the hesitation wasn’t over the accuracy of his answer but whether or not he wanted to get into this with Adrian.

“So why can’t he be happy for me?” Adrian asked. “I think he gave up his right to be jealous of my boyfriends a long time ago.”

“He’s happy for you,” Nico insisted. “He’s just... Lewis.”

“That’s not an excuse,” Adrian stated. “He can’t expect me to just sit around being available for him in case his life falls apart. It’s so fucking insulting, being listed as his back-up.”

“It’s not insulting,” Nico said. “Look at it from his point of view. You’re someone he’d be perfectly content to spend the rest of his life with. That means more than fireworks, doesn’t it? I can’t say there’s anyone I’d honestly want to spend every day with. It’s a different kind of love.”

He gave a shrug and looked back out of the window. Adrian stared at the wall behind Nico’s head and let the words sink in. Was that really how Lewis felt about him? It was the sort of small-brained logic Lewis would employ to make important life decisions. Adrian smiled fondly. They’d been best friends for all those years. Maybe that did still count for something.

“Do you think they’ll get married?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Nico replied easily and Adrian found the honesty of that response both painful and refreshing. “I think they’ll get married and have tiny, perfect babies. Tiny, perfect, really dumb babies.”

Adrian laughed and Nico turned back to face him, grinning. It felt good to not treat the whole thing so seriously for once. It was exhausting feeling like he was walking on eggshells in his own life. Lewis was happy. He was happy. They should let that be the end.

“Invite Raphael to the race,” Nico said.

“He’s working,” Adrian dismissed.

“On Sunday?” Nico asked pointedly.

“Well, not on Sunday,” Adrian admitted.

“So invite him,” Nico insisted.

Adrian shook his head. “Look, I’m not ready to start parading him around. I want to concentrate on getting a race seat first. Then I won’t care so much about coming out, it can’t damage anything if the contract is signed.”

“You don’t have to come out,” Nico told him. “Just keep it in your pants when the photographers are around.”

Adrian smiled, getting that bashful feeling that talking about Raphael always managed to give him. “We’re kind of in that honeymoon period.”

“Keep it in your pants, Sutil,” Nico said again, more sternly this time.

Adrian rolled his eyes, thankful for the distraction of his phone ringing. He pulled it from his pocket, smiling to see Raphael’s name on the display. He raised his eyebrows at Nico as he accepted the call.

“Hi, babe.”

“Awww,” Nico cooed from across the room.

Adrian got to his feet, holding his middle finger up towards Nico as he made his way out of the room.

“Don’t forgot to invite him,” Nico called.

Adrian closed the door a little harder than was necessary.


End file.
